Calling all moms to the playground...

Becoming a parent has been the most wonderful experience. However with the experience came an inevitable change.

I went from having time to do what I wanted, when I wanted. To having a tiny human depending on me. Not only for the basic reasons. But also to raise him to be a productive member of a better world.

As a first time mom I didn't have a clue what I was doing. To be quite honest, I hardly remember the first year... I was determined to put my son before anything. Even if that meant myself. I made the decision to stay with him and not return to work. (Not that I had a huge career to get back to.) But none the less, I felt I wanted to be a stay at home mom. I didn't want anyone else raising my child. I had a small social life. Only because my friends also became mother's around the same time I did. For the first year postpartum, I literally had maybe two pair of jeans that fit me. I didn't make time for myself. There wasn't time to cut my hair. No time or effort to exercise. Let alone go get a mani and pedi.

So there I was, 24 and with a new baby in tow. Without a career or anything else going for ME. I kept busy with my child and household chores. Rarely had any "free time". Free time was really my shower time. During this time, I couldn't help but question myself. "Who am I?" "What's my purpose in life?" " Is this it?" "Is this all I will be?" -A mother. Not that there's anything wrong with being just that. Because being a mother isn't an easy task. However, personally I aspired to be more.

Once you become a mother it is easy to forget who you are. When all you can think of yourself is as a mother. Are you still you? Are you still able to give yourself that much needed time? Are you a selfish person for wanting to go out without your child for at least 30 minutes?

Back then I'd say definitely! "You're being selfish. Your job now is to take care of this precious baby. You brought him into this world, now take care of him!"

Had I evolved and matured into a mother.? Or had I simply forgotten who I was?

Now I'm much more lenient on myself. I give myself days to go out to lunch/dinner with friends. I make time for myself. Time to do whatever I feel like doing. Whether it is exercising, reading, doing my hair, makeup. Anything that makes me happy. Anything that makes me remember I am not just a mom. I am still me, Carla.

It wasn't easy for me to make changes though. It took time for me to get to my pre-pregnancy weight. Time to return to school. Which gave me some very much needed adult time. Time to understand that it is okay to give myself time. It's okay to want more than just doing household chores, changing diapers and feedings.

If I could go back in time and give my pregnant self some advice. It would definitely be- Don't be so hard on yourself. Give yourself time. At least a weekly outing alone. Set up a daily workout to clear your mind and get those endorphins going. You are still you! The only difference is that you have been blessed with a new love. It's perfectly okay to take time to adjust to this new life.

Things will change once you become a mother. But that doesn't necessarily mean you need to completely forget who you are. Go ahead and give yourself time to do things you enjoy. Be you! Get manicures and pedicures. Get pampered. Make yourself feel beautiful! Read a good book. Have a lunch outing by yourself. Take time to play in the play ground!!!